Match the Effort

By Melody Rodgers, RCP
Family Support Advocate

You’re here because what you’re doing isn’t working,
We’re here because what you’re doing isn’t working.
What we do at New York Center for Living is working. 

Your child has been evaluated and a treatment plan has been suggested. Once you hear the level of commitment required, you find excuses not to participate at the level required. If your child was diagnosed with cancer, would you say yes to one part of treatment when all 3 are recommended?  Of course not, why then when a diagnosis has been made and it’s substance use disorder (SUD) all of a sudden you’re negotiating treatment options?

As parents you need to match the effort and do more. Because your title is parent, you will need to be the example of change. That means discarding old habits and replacing them with a new set of skills. When you acknowledge the problem and take ownership of your part, change talk, and action begins.

Here are some of the lies we like to believe-

  • Its just a phase
  • They didn’t mean it
  • Everyone is doing it
  • Don’t make a big deal out of this –

When does recreational use cross the line to abuse?

When dangerous consequences happen. If there are no consequences, there will be no change. There is a wonderful saying in the recovery community “you’re as sick as you’re secrets”. Stop denying what you are seeing and start the conversation with compassion & empathy.

What you can do is create change, through choices and consequences.

As you start this journey remember the 3 C’S

  • You didn’t Cause it
  • You can’t Control it
  • You can’t Cure it…. 

Stop letting fear paralyze you from making choices and start the healing together.  Change nothing -nothing changes – start the conversation Everything changes.